Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Green Light Jerky / Hell, Yeah



To paraphrase Janice Soprano: I love jerky. She said “marrow” while sucking the gunk out of a broken bone, but me – I’d never stoop so low. Why bother when you possess the most-awesome beef jerky from either side of the Mississippi?

The Regular Guys (and their humble producer, yours truly) feasted on four beefy flavors that were sent to me by the cool cats at Green Light Jerky. My favorite (out of the four) was the Pepper Grinder. I also enjoyed the PRD (Prime Rib Dinner) [From Greenlightjerky.Com: “Seasoned with rosemary, thyme and horseradish, this one tastes like a PRIME RIB DINNER.” Yes it does.

That’s the thing with Green Light Jerky – it tastes like BEEF, not some processed piece of beef-flavored leather. If you’re a convenient store jerky-jerk, get with the program. Surf over to Green Light Jerky and get yourself some grown up snacks. Snap out of the Slim Jims and go Green (Green Light Jerky).

TA

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Reese's 100 Calorie Peanut Butter Wafers


The faceless Debra models today's snack.

Today's snack was the all-new Reese's 100 calorie Peanut Butter Wafter Bars. What a mouthful; the name, not the snack. These suck because they pretend to be a healthy alternative to candy bars when in fact, they are candy bars. Eating one package of these wafers is akin to your first screw. To borrow another snack's slogan: Once you pop, you can't stop.

Meh. I liked them better when they were called Kit-Kats. Reese's can do better than this. For example, last year they put out an Elvis-themed, limited edition peanut butter and banana creme Reese's Cup. Now that fuckin' ROCKED [and rolled].

TCB,

Andrews

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Bacon Popcorn



I like popcorn. I like bacon. Yesterday I found out I don’t like popcorn and bacon together. About a year ago I found this on Noshetiria, a recipe seemingly made for a pro-bacon / pro-popcorn guy like me. So I ran across the street to Kroger and picked up a package of Wright’s Brand naturally smoked, maple flavored bacon and a jar of Redenbacher’s original gourmet popcorn. Paradise awaited me, right? Wrong.

Looking back, I should have bought regular bacon because the maple-flavored variety didn’t do the trick. I hoped it would turn out something like kettle corn, but instead it tasted like maple syrup corn. All the bacon found its way to the bottom where it somehow managed a way of clinging to the kosher salt (that had also fallen to the bottom). Surprisingly, the popcorn wasn’t very greasy and took on a salty, bacony flavor. I kept it in the fridge overnight and it tasted so-so in the morning.

To make:

  • One pack of bacon – your choice.
  • Cook bacon, set on paper towels, pour grease into hot pan.
  • Pop the popcorn in the bacon grease.
  • Salt & pepper to taste, add crumbled bacon.

Don’t use maple-flavored bacon!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Submit a Snack

Got a snack idea? Send it to trgproducer@gmail.com. Gotta go...Time to snack.

Popped Rice - Korean Delicacy?


It’s time for lip-smackin’, snack attackin’ – with your snack-expert-in-training, Tim Andrews (heretofore known as “The Snack Czar”). Let’s get our snack on.


Last week, we discussed (and consumed) Orville Redenbacher’s new line of “Natural” popcorn. I don’t want to get into an argument about whether or not garlic-flavored popcorn grows naturally, I’ll leave that to Eric, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s just freakin’ yummy.

Today, Larry brought in some Korean delicacies, courtesy of Super H Korean grocers. First, I tried the pound cake – which was more like a sweet roll than a traditional pound cake. It had lightness to it, and a sweet, creamy flavor. Might be good to cut in half for a bacon cheeseburger bun (I’ll try it). After that, we all tried the popped rice cakes.

I know what you’re thinking: Quaker Oats rice cakes. Nope. These are larger, flatter, and disappear as soon as they hit your tongue. Sweet, crispy and light, they are a healthy alternative to cookies or other heavy snacks. I think they’d go well with a fresh citrus or tropical fruit mix – and just a sprinkling of powdered sugar. Think funnel cake without all the guilt, hours spent crying yourself to sleep and the painful reminder that yes, you do have a penis, and yes it was once visible without the aid of a mirror.


The Official Map of Korea...there are TWO!

Super H has a website, check them out here (the default language is Korean, but there’s an English option). They sell other stuff, too. For instance, I noticed a vacuum of some sort offered on the main page, which I assume is to clean up the mess you'll leave after speed-eating these flat, yummy wafers. Here’s a You Tube video of the rice-popping machine that scared Larry the other day:


Lingering Aftertaste Warning: Popped rice leaves a nasty film-coated residue in your mouth. It’s not unlike what you taste when Novocain wears off.

Hear today's Snack Attack segment.